gloomy weather :.: the quest for patience :.: need to get things done!

For the past three days, our weather has looked like this:



Yes. Just like that.

It's been causing fatigue and drowsiness.

Well, I've been home by myself for the past few days. My parents are down in Florida, but I think they'll be back (or at least heading back) in a couple of days. It's been nice having the house to myself, as well as watching our Cocoa and Precious. They've both been going crazy with the weather. But other than that, they're doing okay. Here's how we have reacted to the rain:





Hehe.











I've developed a hobby of getting lost in thought, and these past several days, I have really gotten lost in thought. I've just been sitting there, and I really "go somewhere" with my mind. And then I get sad, because reality kicks in, and I realize that where I just was for the past ten minutes was just in thought.

I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but I've been disappointed. I know I should be happy, but life after college hasn't really been all it's cracked up to be. I mean, I've passed all of the classes. I have a piece of paper that says, "Hello, world! I am a Bachelor of Arts graduate. Look at me!" And I don't understand how I should be happy, but I've just been disappointed.

Oh... I know. Because it's already September, and by now, I was really hoping for some, well, "big" things to happen in life. And I'm not really sure what I mean by "big." I guess I was just expecting to be somewhere else, besides living with my parents and feeling like a child again. I was hoping to be a big girl, and to move out by now and have an apartment somewhere by now. And I was hoping to get "out there" and become an explorer, a flight attendant, a sociologist, a reporter, or just someone who travels, watches people, writes, and sees many different lands. In other words, I would like to make a difference, or at least leave something behind when my life is over.

Also, I guess maybe I was expecting to be closer to having a significant other in my life. But, like they say on the movie Valentine's Day, "Love cannot be planned."



And I would say that's true. I can't "plan" love. I gotta let go, and just let it happen on its own. But the thing is, I have let go. I haven't stopped what I'm doing to search for Mr. Right for the longest time now. But he hasn't shown up, either.

Anyways...

I will attempt to escape this disappointment. I mean, I have a good life. I just feel it's "on hold" right now. And that is a frustrating feeling, but the only thing I can do is not feel sorry for myself. Because no one likes self-pity people. And I am definitely not a self-pity person, and I don't like it when people throw pity parties in front of me.

Although I love Hamburger Helper (HH), I was just hoping that life after college would contain more than just fixing HH for myself.



Okay, I know the HH looks bad, but it looked A LOT better when the cheese mix thickened. It looks like I took the picture too soon. And it tasted okay. I was happy that this was the first time I made HH by myself. Hehe. My mom made it a lot for my brother & me when dad was at work, and now I'm making HH. Who knew? :)


Well, speaking of work... I had yesterday off, and it looks like I have today off as well. It's going okay, other than the fact that I'm trying to pick up the pace on my closing duties. I feel lousy when I close. I want to be quicker. The other night, we were short staffed, and I was asked to get done as fast as I could so that I could help pitch in with the other things we were short staffed on. I tried to finish sooner, but I still couldn't get done in the time that was expected. There was disappointment (especially on my end). But I won't give up hope. I know this isn't life/death, but I would like to finish within a better time frame. Just saying.

Have a wonderful Thursday, everyone!